Category Archives: Body Electric

I Can Only Write About Lost Things

When we rose to meet each other
you dove into me like I was home,
like a fish returning to the sea
after being flung upon land in a storm.
I held you to my depths
and, roiling, we two dark things
phosphoresced when we touched.
To me
your skin was the rich earth I danced on
Your eyes caught the moon and held it in shards
Your teeth flashed like lights off the water
Those lips brushing mine- ripe plums.
Now my body is ungrounded
and my fingers, unmoored from yours
are useless ships-
Clumsy, bobbing in the charcoal night.

-For K, who said this was allowed


To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn


Oh, four tuna!

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while, Cyberfriends. I’ve been trying to figure out what to write for a while, but all of my posts seemed…lacking. This winter was hectic and depressing overall, and I’m not fond of writing depressing things anymore so I refrained rather than get too personal. Perhaps I’ll post about what happened someday, but at the moment I don’t have enough perspective. However, this week the wheel of fortune has turned again so I have some beautiful news that I just can’t wait to share with y’all.

1.) I (finally) have a full-time job: I’m working through a temp agency, which is good because I like the freedom it affords my writing and acting career. Got a gig? Going through a dry spell? Well don’t worry cuz’ temping is here for you! It also gives me a chance to shop around at various companies that might decide to keep me. Tomorrow I start my first day of work at Jstor, the online library for scholarly articles. I’ll be working in their acquisitions department for a month, but that’s all I know for now. This is a nerd’s DREAM, I tell you! Intimate contact with a library of interesting subjects; the chance to get to know people in the biz of literature–and (possibly?hopefully? Please?) access to the library for free. When I told most of my friends this, their first question was if I get free articles out of it. Hahah, I’m friends with a whole bunch of nerds :p

2.) My creative life has picked up: After a disheartening dry spell I managed to score 3 projects that have the potential to make it big. The first was this youtube teaser commercial for a forthcoming book.

The second is that i’ve just been cast in a play- I can’t say much at the moment since i’m still waiting on more info before I accept the part, but I will say that it’s woman centered, premiering in several cities at once (I’ll be part of the NY cast), there will be a webseries to go along with it, and I’ll have the possibility to get (additional?) payment for writing a monologue to be performed in the show!

The third, and most exciting, is that I’m going to be paid to be an art model for this guy!  I’ve checked him out and  am impressed by his work and resume, so I’m super pumped to work with him.  I’m going to be art, y’all!!

Hooopefully not like this.  I don’t want to be Dorian Gavia…

3.) My (oh!) my (oh!) my (oh) my (ohh!) my Boo:  I have a boyfriend now, and he is awesome.  I don’t know how much he’d be comfortable with me sharing, so I will stop there.    But just had to let you know that when two nerdy PoCs find each other, it’s a thing of brilliance.  He is, without a doubt, super ginchy!

On a side note, I apologize for the lack of story updates lately.   My illustrator is abroad at the moment, so getting pictures to fit each segment is a little difficult.  But I’ve been writing it, so expect lots of new updates as soon as is possible.

It seems my wheel of fortune is a bit lopsided- it is weighted on both the amazing side and the awful side, so when it turns it oscillates rapidly from one to another.  This is just my turn to prosper.  Let’s hope I make the most of it!

I’m off to bed now- don’t want to be late for the first day of work!



How’s this for an update:

I have an audition. For a pilot. With NBC.

Ask not for whom the peacock calls

I don’t even know what to do with myself.

Now, I know there’s a very slim chance that I’ll get even a callback, and I’ll be the first to admit i’m not quite the TV standard of beauty. My acting history is almost exclusively theater, and switching from theater to TV is not easy-not everyone can do it and it takes practice so you don’t look histrionic.

But this is still a chance, and you never know what could happen.

My audition is on Saturday, so there’s not much time.  I just hope my face is un-puffed and my brain un-clogged by then (I’m home from work today due to a nasty sinus infection).

I’ll blog more later about the concerns switching from stage to screen (body image being chief among them–yes, the camera does add pounds), but i’ll end this for now.

Adventures in Adulthood: Week 1


Captain’s log, stardate 2011.  It’s been one week officially since I moved to New York city.  I’m alive, I’m fed, I’m employed, and I’m happy.  Not bad for my second time in this town.

I’m so overwhelmed with everything- the happiness, how much I miss home, how scared I am of adulthood, and at the same time how well I’m managing.

I’ll slip up along the way.  I have already- I let someone talk me out of 8 bucks, and then insult me by lustily moaning as I walked away.  I keep getting lost on my way to and from work, and I don’t know how to eat cheaply in this town.

But I’m learning.  Every day I’m learning how to be a functioning big-girl.  I’m learning to walk on my own wobbly legs, and to massage my own flat-footed feet after a hard day.

I’m growing up.

There will be more posts in the coming days on a variety of topics: Gay Marriage in New York, Street Harassment, The Subway- as well as new poetry and other such creative scribblings.

In the meantime be well, cyberfriends.  I’ll write soon.  Promise.

But now, bed.  I have work in the morning.



<3 In honor of Loving Day, a mixed race kid’s e-collage <3

<3 In honor of Loving Day, a mixed race kid’s e-collage <3

Mildred and Richard Loving

The “Loving” side of the U.S. Supreme Court case consisted of Mildred and Richard Loving. They first met when she was 11 and he was 17. He was a family friend and over the years they started courting. After she became pregnant, they got married in Washington in 1958, when she was 18. Reportedly, Mildred didn’t realize interracial marriage was illegal, and they were arrested a few weeks after they returned to their hometown north of Richmond. They pleaded guilty to charges of “cohabiting as man and wife, against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth,” and avoided jail time by agreeing to leave Virginia. They moved to Washington, D.C. and began legal action by writing to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy. Kennedy referred the case to the American Civil Liberties Union. After the Warren Court unanimously ruled in favor of the young couple, they returned to Virginia, where they lived with their three children. Mildred Loving died May 5, 2008 at the age of 68. Richard Loving died about thirty-three years earlier in a car accident. Each June 12, the anniversary of the ruling, Loving Day events around the country mark the advances of mixed-race couples. (from Wikipedia)

Watch BBC’s Loving Documentary on Youtube: Part 1Part 2Part 3!

From the original judge’s decision: “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”


From my honors thesis:

Anti-miscegination laws have existed in the U.S. as early as 1641, and were declared unconstitutional in 1967.  My father, the child of a Black and Native American maid and a Spanish-Mexican immigrant, was seventeen.  My mother, the child of a Japanese (Okinawa) immigrant and a Black and Native American Army serviceman, was thirteen.

Officially, the policy demanding mixed race children claim the race of the non-white parent was abolished in 1989-incidentally, the year I was born.  In practice, as well as in the minds of some people however, the one-drop rule still exists, as do rules of blood quantum (in which members to a specific group must have above a certain amount of racial heritage to qualify as a member of said group).

In the year 2000, the U.S. Census bureau finally allowed people to check than more than one box pertaining to race, thereby officially recognizing multiracial individuals.   Seven million people (2.4% of U.S. population) identified as mixed race that year.

I was eleven years old at the time, and remember how excited my parents were to legally check multiple boxes for both themselves and their children.  My parents are proud of their mixed heritage, and would either rotate which race they checked each year or check all their boxes whether it was legal or not.

(a selection from) Loving for All

Prepared for Delivery on June 12, 2007, The 40th Anniversary of the Loving vs. Virginia Announcement
By Mildred Loving

My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the “wrong kind of person” for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”

Tani, Sybil, Mom, Hanako, Me, and Dad (David took the picture)
Thank you, Loving family- for making our family legal
To learn more, or figure out how you can hold your own Loving Day celebration, please visit

Sooooo…I guess I’m an adult now?…

Sooooo…I guess I’m an adult now?…

Weird, huh?  It sneaks up on you.

I didn’t feel like an adult all through the graduation ceremony on Monday.  Fidgeting in the hot sun; slick with sweat; feet covered in mud- I felt like a child at an event for adults.

There were some whimsical elements about it, of course- it is Oberlin after all.  There was a guy in a wizard outfit, bathrobe boy in his bathrobe (a tradition), mike-on-a-bike (who is always on a bike, and rode his bike across the stage to get his diploma), professors in everything from robin hood hats to straw hats to devil horns, and me- in my mom’s sparkly old Mexican cocktail dress, with my polka-dot sunglasses and a flower wreath on my head.  The speeches, though long, were interesting.  The sky was immaculately blue.

Though to be honest, I missed about a fourth of the ceremony.  The nice thing about Oberlin, and about having graduation outside, was that there was a big table with snacks and free water for everyone.  I went to get water during the honorary degrees, and was waiting in line until the president’s address. Whoops!

After Sanjana got her degree I left my seat and went to walk around with her and rinse off my feet (the ground was so muddy from all the rain we’d had, my feet were covered).  But the ceremony was pretty much over by then, and so the two of us turned and watched the few students who were wearing mortarboards toss theirs in the air.

It was a lovely day.

The rest of my Oberlin time was spent saying goodbye to my friends and snapping quick pictures before running back to the house.  I managed to hold back the tears until I had to say goodbye to my friend and ex-roomie Mariko, who lives on the west coast.  Even then, I held my cool- but when I had to leave my housemates I bawled.  It must have been embarrassing for everyone, but oh well.  I always was a crybaby.

And here I am.  It’s been a week since graduation, and so much has happened.  As of this weekend I:

1.Got a job as an appointment setter for an insurance agent (Hopefully I start work Monday)

2.Decided to accept a part in a short play in Manhattan

3.Which means-

4.I found someone to crash with until I get a permanent place, so-


I’m going to be the stereotypical midwest girl with the stars in her eyes, livin’ a big city life!  I’ll throw my hat in the air like Mary Tyler Moore, and everyone will be charmed by my spunk and spirit:

Yes, I know this is set in Minneapolis, shut up.

I’ll seek my fortune and meet a wacky cast of characters, like Christina Aguilera:

Yes I know this is in LA, shut up.

And I used to live on a Main Street, so heading off to Wall Street territory will be even more stereotypical!

And that’s the thing I’m excited about:  after being an oddball my whole life, it’d be nice to at least look like a normal person.  It was so refreshing the last time- no one stared at me like an exotic freak (yep, I get that a lot).  There were so many different-looking people there, I felt like I was among friends.

I’ll let you know how things turn out- don’t worry, the blog won’t disappear.  If anything, it’ll be like the days I was in Japan.  Talk to you soon!  We we we so excited!!!