So we caught him.
F*&^er got snatched by the glue trap as he attempted to poop in our sink again. I had to throw out our sponge, and our trashcan is covered in more oil, but we finally got him.
He was pissed, but I had to let him stew in his improvised jail (an empty trashcan with cardboard and a frying pan on top) overnight, since I discovered him at about one in the morning.
Lucky for him the next day was a nice one, so Housemates S and A released him in a field far far away. Close chapter. The End.
As soon as I had finished cleaning out the sink, housemate S let out a yell: he has a friend! she cried.
And lo and behold, what did I see but an even smaller mouse with no tail zipping around our kitchen like she had no sense. I christened this one “Speedy”. Speedy Khan.
While Speedy is stupid, she must have been taught by Crisco, since she managed to pull herself out of one of our glue traps this morning. I awoke to find the trap halfway across the kitchen with bits of fur stuck to it, but no mouse.
I’ll try again. Let’s hope this situation ends quickly.