I know, but at the same time I have no idea.
I know my show is over. My play was performed, and was received pretty well for an original straight-piece with two actors. I’ve got to write a paper on it, and I’d still love to edit some more, but aside from the cast party my team has disbanded.
Sunday evening I came home from striking my set and auditioning for my winter term play, and I sat down and wrote out my resume, and once all that was done I closed my computer screen and had a minor freakout.
See, the air feels different after a show. Your body feels different, too. Lighter. It’s almost like you’ve been carrying a heavy backpack for miles, and now it’s gone and you’re free…but you’re not quite sure where to go. And you had stuff in that bag that you liked. And your back feels naked and exposed without it.
That’s how I feel right now. The weight of a major show is off my shoulders, but now that it is and I’m able to focus on other things, I’m not sure I want to…because other things are scary. I have to think about my other schoolwork now. And what to do after school is over. And about my social life. Ugh.ugh. Ughughugh.
So yeah. Life is scary right now. But then again, so was the play- and I tackled that handily enough. So I guess if I can write a play inspired by my suicidal past, I can get through this semester without my brain exploding–
oh wait. Matt just told me that the average amount of unemployment time for U.S. residents is currently at 33 weeks. Crap.