I’ve been feeling under the weather lately-or rather above it. As I prepare to leave Japan and re-enter the States, work on my play, and look for a job I feel more and more stretched. My mind is already halfway home, and that’s not so good for my academic life right now. I had my first ever production meeting with the team for my new show (going up in the fall hopefully. Details later) via skype, and for the rest of the week my heart and soul was in Obieland, typing away on my computer and hanging out in the co-op on pizza night. I scribbled script notes and ideas all during classes, stared out the window thinking of costume ideas, and stayed up late writing, researching, and editing. So now, I’m exhausted and can hardly remember what I learned in class this week- which is bad, because my grades could definitely use a boost. I TRY really hard to care about school, I do- it’s just that after all my years of bookishness and nerdliness and overachieverness, I’ve become burnt out with the educational system. NOT education, mind you –I ❤ learning!–but with the whole paper, test, grade arbitraryness.
I already miss my family and friends, but now I’m starting to miss Oberlin terribly. I was looking at someone’s facebook pictures of the OSCA prom, and realized how much I missed the oddness that is my college. I miss the laid-back atmosphere, how I feel safe to be weird there. Here (and don’t get me wrong, I love it here) I feel a greater pressure to conform even though I know I’d never fit in as hard as I tried. I’m just not Japanese. That’s not a bad thing, and it doesn’t depress me anymore. But I never really felt like I “belonged” in the States either, so that’s a little disheartening. However, considering how many movies and books etc. there are featuring people who don’t “fit in” I guess it’s not that unique of a complaint, is it?
All of this is manifesting itself in bodily concerns- for the past week I’ve been slightly ill: dizzy, light headed, slightly nauseous, and headachey. I skped Sanjana today, and she thinks it’s the weather change and that I should take in more electrolytes, and I’m inclined to agree with her. But all the same it makes it more difficult to concentrate-my will power is running low…
But good news is: I’m on break starting this weekend! It’s golden week next week, which means all schools and many businesses are closed. Okasan and Otosan are going surfing for a few days, and Naoki and Manami are going to be out as well, so I’ll have the house to myself. I’m a little worried about cooking, but hey- I managed all winter term freshman year- I think I can deal with three days.
Also- I get to visit cousin Tami for the weekend! And the next weekend, my friends and I are going to the Takarazuka revue’s performance of Scarlet Pimpernel! For those of you who don’t know, Takarazuka Review is a famous all-female acting troupe that performs operas and musicals! I heard about them in my freshman seminar on Japanese Women Writers, and ever since then I’ve really wanted to go.
Okay, more later…now it’s bedtime. Good night!